Wednesday, December 23, 2020

10 Lesser Known Classic Holiday Films

Musique - "The Wish that I Wish Tonight" by Dennis Morgan










Oh yes, we all know and love White Christmas and It's a Wonderful Life, but there are plenty more amazing classic Christmas films to enjoy. (And by classic, I personally mean anything made prior to 1970.) Here are ten of my favorites that you may not have watched—and some you may not have even heard of. P.S. There be spoilers, so read my synopses at thine own risk.


The Bishop's Wife

Even if you have watched this 1947 classic, there are some things you may not know about it, including the appearance of Zuzu and young George Bailey from It's a Wonderful Life. This movie is based on a 1928 book and was the inspiration for the 1996 Whitney Houston and Denzel Washington film, The Preacher's Wife. I do enjoy this film about a handsome angel (Cary Grant) who is tasked with helping Bishop Brougham (David Niven), but ends up falling for the bishop's wife (Loretta Young), but the more I watch it, the more I dislike all three main characters. I mean, wth, angel?! Flirting with a married woman?! Deliberately sabotaging the bishop from meeting up with his wife so that you can spend time with her?! That's some shady shit. And what's with the bishop's wife thinking it's okay to spend so much time with her husband's assistant, who is supposed to be doing more work so that the bishop has to do less? And what's with the bishop, who has lost sight of his parish and old friends?! I guess that's what makes it a great story, but still. I'm more taken with the secondary characters like Professor Wutheridge (Monty Woolley), the maid Matilda (Elsa Lanchester), and cab driver Sylvester (James Gleason). It is worth a watch, though, and I do tear up at the bishop's sermon at the end. You can watch, rent, and buy this film on many platforms.


Holiday Inn

I feel like this is the most widely known of the films on this list, but I figured many people may still not have seen this 1942 movie. It technically takes place throughout a couple of years, but there are three different Christmases shown and it features the first of three appearances of Bing Crosby singing "White Christmas" in films. This movie centers around performers Jim Hardy (Bing Crosby), Ted Hanover (Fred Astaire), and Lila Dixon (Virginia Dale). There are love triangles and misunderstandings and schemes, along with several amazing musical numbers (although please, for the love of God, just fast forward through the truly racist Lincoln's birthday scenes where Jim and Linda Mason (Marjorie Reynolds) wear black face). The portrayal of the housekeeper, Mamie and her children is problematic, but I do so love Louise Beavers in any role she plays. This film is also available on multiple streaming platforms.


Star in the Night

Technically this is a short film, but it's worth a watch. It's a modern day (as in 1945 modern day) retelling of the birth of Jesus, set in a motel along a deserted stretch of highway, complete with José (Anthony Caruso) and Maria (Lynn Baggett), a couple who need a place to stay for the night. Maria is about to give birth to a child we can only guess they will name Jesus. The motel owner, Nick Catapoli (J. Carrol Naish), remembers the meaning of Christmas when everyone at the motel pitches in. It always makes me cry. You can watch this short in full on YouTube.


Christmas Eve

OMG, this 1947 movie is so, so bad. I'm honestly surprised that they got so many famous actors to be in it. But I just can't NOT watch it every Christmas season. I know Christmas movies aren't known for their realistic plots, but this one is so f'ing crazy I just can't understand why they made it. Basically, an old, eccentric millionaire, Matilda Reed (played by a then 45-year-old Ann Harding) is at risk for having her fortune taken away from her on the grounds of being mentally unfit. But somehow, if she can convince her three adopted sons (who all call her "Aunt Matilda" for some reason) to come home on Christmas Eve, the judge won't give control of her money to her nephew Phillip (Reginald Denny). Oh, and by the way, even though they apparently love Aunt Matilda so much, these three sons of hers haven't bothered to even drop her so much as a postcard in the years since they left home, so she has no idea where they are. The three sons are played by big Hollywood stars of the time, George Brent, George Raft (I looooove me some George Raft), and Randolph Scott, and their individual storylines are so ridiculous and convoluted. Seriously—there are Nazis and an illegal adoption ring. There are so many plot holes and this movie raises so many questions, but I will still watch it, if just for George Raft and Joan Blondell, two of my absolute favorites. You can pretty much only watch this on AppleTV and DirectTV.


The Man Who Came to Dinner

This is another excellent Monty Woolley Christmas film, also starring Bette Davis (in an almost un-Bette Davis like role). Monty Woolley's role of difficult and demanding Sheridan Whiteside was based on Algonquin Round Table member, Alexander Woollcott, and the premise was inspired by the thought of what a terrible houseguest he'd be if he had to stay for a long period of time. Whiteside and his secretary, Maggie Cutler (Bette Davis) have to stay with the Stanley family in Ohio over Christmas after he breaks his hip falling down their icy steps. He is rude, sarcastic, and overbearing—and Monty Woolley does an excellent job at portraying such an a-hole so that you still love him. I love Bette Davis in the role of the secretary who falls for a local writer, Bert Jefferson. And I especially love Ann Sheridan as the glamorous actress, Lorraine Sheldon, that Whiteside invites to Ohio so she'll steal Jefferson away from Maggie. This is an example of one of those classic films that has the rapid-fire and witty dialogue that old Hollywood is famous for. There's an excellent YouTube compilation of Whiteside's best insults that cracks me up every time. As far as I can tell, this movie is only available on HBO Max.


The Shop Around the Corner

Another film on this list that you probably have heard of, if only because it was the precursor to 1998's You've Got Mail. It's set in a little gift shop in Budapest and stars James Stewart and Margaret Sullavan as fellow shop employees Alfred and Klara, who can't seem to stand each other. They both correspond with unknown pen pals, never knowing until the end that they're writing to each other. This main storyline is pretty much the only similarity to You've Got Mail, and I definitely prefer The Shop Around the Corner (and not only for a deliciously handsome young Jimmy Stewart). There are multiple steaming platforms that offer this movie.


It Happened on 5th Avenue

Another charming, if far-fetched, 1947 Christmas movie. This one is centered around homeless Aloysius T. McKeever (Victor Moore) who secretly moves into the New York mansion owned by millionaire Michael J. O'Connor (Charlie Ruggles) every winter when O'Connor heads to Virginia for the season. McKeever befriends recently evicted war vet Jim Bullock (Don DeFore) and invites him to stay with him at the mansion. Then O'Connor's teenage daughter Trudy (Gale Storm) shows up, pretending to be a runaway so she can stay with them (because she totally has the hots for Jim and finds this whole situation quite amusing). And then even more people show up, including future "Gilligan's Island" Skipper, Alan Hale, Jr. Eventually, even O'Connor himself and his ex-wife, Mary (Ann Harding, who this time is playing her own age) show up, pretending to be homeless and in need of shelter so that they can meet this Jim person that their daughter is so in love with. It's ridiculous, yet awesome and heart warming. There are multiple places to stream this excellent film.


Holiday Affair

I honestly never thought Robert Mitchum was attractive until I saw this 1949 movie. Now I see the appeal! This movie is about a comparison shopper, Connie Ennis (Janet Leigh), who gets department store clerk, Steve Mason (Mitchum) fired. The two keep running into each other and there's a definite attraction. However, she already has a persistent admirer, Carl Davis (Wendell Corey), who desperately wants to marry her. Connie is hesitant to remarry after her husband Guy was killed in the war, especially because of how it might affect her young son, Timmy (Gordon Gebert). It's a predictable love triangle situation, but there are some really kooky bits and I thoroughly enjoy it. You can watch it on several different streaming platforms.


Remember the Night

Barbara Stanwyck is a GODDESS and a true Christmas film vet (her 1941 film Meet John Doe didn't make this list because I feel like it's too damn depressing, but it does take place at Christmas, as does the next film on this list). This film pairs her with Fred MacMurray four years before their most famous pairing in Double Indemnity. They make quite a different couple in this movie! Stanwyck plays Lee Leander, a shoplifting jewel thief caught and brought before court right before Christmas. MacMurray is prosecuting attorney John Sargent who has the trial postponed until after Christmas so he can get out of there and go visit his mother on her Indiana farm. But he feels bad for putting Lee back in jail during the holidays, so bails her out and offers to drive her to her mother's house (also in Indiana) on his way. Turns out her mother is an asshole, so John offers to take Lee to his own family home for Christmas. Needless to say, the two fall in love, which causes some problems, given that he has to try to put her back in jail when they get back to New York. Content warning: John's butler, Rufus (Fred "Snowflake" Toones), was written to be a terribly racist stereotype and it's offensive and cringeworthy to watch Fred MacMurray pretend to be Rufus on the phone and to call him dumb multiple times. Despite that portrayal of a Black servant, the movie is incredibly enjoyable. I particularly like when Lee and John get arrested for trespassing and Lee gives the fake name of Mary Smith and says her occupation is bubble dancer. When the justice of the peace mutters, "Whatever that is," I crack up every time. You can watch this film on a handful of streaming platforms.


Christmas in Connecticut

And now we come to my most favorite Christmas film of all time, 1945's Christmas in Connecticut, starring my fave, Barbara Stanwyck. This one is about writer Elizabeth Lane (Stanwyck), who pretends to be a Connecticut farm wife, mother, and cook and writes popular articles for the magazine Smart Housekeeping. In reality, she's a single woman living in a New York apartment who relies upon her friend and restaurant owner, Felix Bassenak (S.Z. Sakall) for any kind of edible food and the cooking content for her articles. Complications arise when the would-be fiancée of wounded Navy hero Jefferson Jones (Dennis Morgan) writes the owner of the magazine, Alexander Yardley (Sydney Greenstreet) and asks if Jones can come stay on Elizabeth Lane's famous Connecticut farm for Christmas (apparently she feels that if he spends Christmas in a "real homey home", he'll want to marry her). To avoid catastrophe (hearing Felix mispronounce "catastrophe" the whole movie is incredibly hilarious), Elizabeth decides to marry her long-time friend and man-she-definitely-doesn't-want-to-marry, John Sloan (Reginald Gardiner) because he owns a farm in Connecticut and they can host the sailor and Mr. Yardley, who invites himself along, so that neither she nor her editor, Dudley Beecham (Robert Shayne) will get in trouble for making up the whole Elizabeth Lane column. Clearly, Elizabeth and Jefferson are going to fall for each other—thankfully she and Sloan keep getting interrupted before they can actually have their marriage ceremony. You know what's going to happen in the end, but it's still an enjoyable romp and Dennis Morgan is oh-so dreamy. There are a ton of streaming services that offer this movie.

Tuesday, November 10, 2020

amz's Holiday Etsy Shop Picks

 Musique - "All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

It's almost the gift-giving season and as commercial as the holidays may have become, I personally really enjoy giving gifts—not because it's expected of me, but because I honestly enjoy picking out presents for people. With COVID-19 still raging, it's probably best to shop online instead of in-person, but it's also very important to shop small and support local businesses when you can. So, instead of Amazon, consider shopping from any of these fine Etsy shops. I put certain notations next to each shop that may be helpful in choosing the shops you wish to purchase from:

* = BIPOC-owned
+ = womxn-owned
~ = local to Washington state

Etsy Shops I've Personally Purchased From:

The owner, Stephanie Willhoughby, is one of the nicest, most responsive Etsy sellers I've ever interacted with. She answers all of your questions quickly and is super sweet. I bought my sister some Whipped Shower Icing for her birthday and she liked it so much she went back and purchased some of the travel sized versions to test out different fragrances, of which there are like a billion. Susan told me that Stephanie's Peppermint Twist is a dead ringer for Bath & Body Works' Twisted Peppermint. TAKE MY MONEY!!!!!! Indulgence Spa and Body's products are paraben- and phthalate-free, vegan, and cruelty-free. Stephanie's getting a LOT of orders these days, so there is a 2–3 week window for getting your order, which just means order early! It's worth the wait. You can also find Indulgence Spa and Body Products on Instagram.


Nick Alan Foote is a Tlingit artist living in Seattle, and he makes the most gorgeous cards and stickers I've ever seen. I ordered multiple sets of the cards pictured above at the start of quarantine to send love notes to my friends (and support the USPS by buying stamps) and I loooooved them!! He's also got a face mask and some wall art in his shop as well. Nick also has his own website, Instagram, and Facebook.


This shop is owned by the actress Kimberly J. Brown, as in Marnie from Halloweentown herself!!!! I'm a big fan of the Halloweentown-themed items in her shop and have had the Being Normal Is Vastly Overrated t-shirt for years and still love it so much!! The shop has its own Facebook page and Kimberly herself is on Instagram, where you can see adorable pictures of her and her boyfriend, Daniel, who played Kal in Halloweentown II, which is the most darling thing my Halloweentown-loving heart can possibly think of.


Shop-owner Jillian identifies as a swamp witch and makes her items out of her home in the Louisiana Bayou. She sells a lot of cute spell kits as well as other witchy ingredients, but I found her shop when I was looking for a dupe of Aveda's discontinued Blue Oil, which is good for headaches. Zella Moon Apothecary's version also includes Blue Chamomile and Peppermint, like the Aveda version did. Jillian puts Lapis Lazuli crystals in the roller ball version to help with correcting Third Eye Chakra imbalances, which can help lower stress, further helping eliminate headaches. I think it's been incredibly helpful so far for me personally. Jillian also included a sample of protective black salt and a handwritten note with my order, which I just love! Her shop has an Instagram with gorgeous photos of her ingredients.


I'm a sucker for gingerbread-scented lotion during the holidays and this Gingerbread Body Butter from Honey Butter Bath Co. is AMAZING. Shop-owner Allison makes sure her products responsibly sourced and cruelty-free, using organic ingredients when she can. The shop is taking longer to ship orders due to volume and COVID-related delays, so be sure to order early. If you order NOW, you could get your yummy scented body products by Thanksgiving! Allison also has a Shopify site, where she is offering 10% off body butters with the code AVOHONEY. You can also visit the Honey Butter Bath Co. on Instagram and Facebook.


This shop used to be called Sweet Tea Apothecary back in 2015 when I purchased a bottle of Dead Writers Perfume and the shop owner, J.T., was kind enough to meet me at a coffee shop on Capitol Hill instead of shipping my order to me. Immortal Perfumes is most widely known for Dead Writers, a delightful blend of heliotrope, vetiver, clove, vanilla, tobacco, and black tea. I am also partial to Madame Moustache, which smells of tobacco, Egyptian musk, fire, and vanilla. All of the different perfumes are inspired by and named for people and fictional characters with the most interesting stories. J.T. even has a fascinating history podcast called Storical. You can buy her perfumes through Etsy or her website. Be sure to check out her Instagram and Facebook as well. On a personal note, J.T. will be having surgery in December and closing her shop up for the month, so you'll need to order by midnight, December 1.

Lists of Other Etsy Shops:

Thursday, June 11, 2020

Top 25 Crazy-Ex Girlfriend Songs

Musique - "I'm Just a Girl in Love" by Rachel Bloom
I remember seeing ads for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend on CW while watching Supernatural, but the title of the show was such a turn-off. Feminist me was sure it was a negative portrayal of women. Little did I know that it was actually quite feminist and showed mental health in ways I hadn't seen on TV before. It also had the cutest same-sex couple EVER—Darryl and White Josh. Oh Lord, do I heart White Josh. And Heather. She is amazing. She is perfection. Those two are my favorites. They have the best lines of the whole entire show.
My love of musicals (especially ones involving giant pretzels) finally got me to watch the show recently. It was hard for me to root for the main character, Rebecca, at first. I thought she was human garbage and I wondered how her friends put up with her and how these guys fell for her. She was so selfish and self-centered and wasn't there for them the way they were for her. So when evil boss Nathaniel showed up, I thought they were perfect for each other—two total dicks. I always have been and always will be Team Nathaniel. Of course, they both evolved and Rebecca grew on me. But for most of the series, I was mostly watching the show for the secondary characters and the musical numbers. I disagree with many of the existing lists ranking the best CXG songs, so I made my own top 25. And it goes a little something like this:

25. "Where's Rebecca Bunch?" (season 3, episode 1)
I love the Beauty and the Beast "Belle" feel to this number and everyone's over-the-top accents. Ensemble numbers are some of my absolute favorites.

24. "Without Love You Can Save the World" (season 3, episode 9)
I picture less Hair and more 40 Year Old Virgin. Another stellar ensemble number.

23. "Friendtopia" (season 2, episode 6)
I've already declared my love for Heather, but let me also say that I love post-Josh Valencia. And I love their friend group (which at this point didn't include Paula yet). And, of course, I love this Spice Girls-esque song.

22. "Strip Away My Conscience" (season 3, episode 2)
Well, I automatically love anything influenced by Chicago, but combine that with Nathaniel—um, yes, please!!

21. "Settle for Me" (season 1, episode 4)
Original Greg is the only Greg. No offense to Skylar Astin, but Santino Fontana is the one and only true Greg. And this send-up of classic musicals is dreamy if a bit sad because Greg should never have to settle!!

20. "West Covina" (season 1, episode 1)
Ah, the musical number with the big pretzel that they showed in all those commercials. This is the song that made me think I might like this show. It's a big, splashy number, and like I said, it involves a giant pretzel. What's not to love? It really started the series off with a bang.

19. "Sports Analogies" (season 4, episode 10)
My favorite, Nathaniel, in a Rat Pack-esque duet with Josh? Yes, please. I love when they both have a drink and a cigarette in each hand. Dreamy.

18. "Textmergency" (season 1, episode 11)
Another hilarious hair band number. I love that the drummer is Ester Dean from the Pitch Perfect movies, and how they fight over if sending a regrettable text should be a "textmergency" or "textastrophe". So great.

17. "The Sexy Getting Ready Song" (season 1, episode 1)
Another iconic song from the first episode. And it's pretty much the truth about ladies getting ready to go out. I love that Nipsey Hussle is so horrified at the extent of what women go through that he calls it "nasty ass patriarchal bullshit" and has to go "apologize to some bitches". So, so great.

16. "Horny Angry Tango" (season 3, episode 10)
Ahhhhhh!!!! The chemistry between Nathaniel and Rebecca set to a tango!!!! Dammit, that's hot!!!!!!!

15. "Having a Few People Over" (season 1, episode 10)
This is a totally random, short piece of EDM nonsense, but I love it so. Again, Darryl is glorious, and this is the party where White Josh kisses him on the cheek. Swoon!

14. "We Should Definitely Not Have Sex Right Now" (season 2, episode 1)
This one gets stuck in my head all the time. It's kinda smooth jazz with an almost Sade-ishness to it. But yeah, ear worm.

13. "My Sperm Is Healthy" (season 3, episode 8)
Another Darryl Whitefeather gem. Sorta like Meghan Trainor's "Me Too", but about spooge. "My point is in a nutshell—each time I nut, I nut well"—no better lyrics in the world!

12. "Don't Be a Lawyer" (season 4, episode 3)
Why oh why did we not get more Jim songs in this show?????  He is amazing!!!! This is some straight up post-New Edition Bobby Brown stuff here and it is GLORIOUS.

11. "Greg's Drinking Song" (season 2, episode 2)
A charming Irish drinking song about peeing your pants and having sex with bushes. I love, love, love the costumes—seriously, every single one of the already-very-attractive people in this video looks a million times hotter in these costumes.

10. "Period Sex" (season 2, episode 3)
The transition from Rebecca telling Josh life-changing news to suggesting they have period sex was fucking hilarious. I also love that this song keeps popping up throughout the series. It was super creepy when Trent sang it in episode 12 of season 3, but it was hilarious when Rebecca's mom Naomi did it in episode 10 of season 2. Oh Lord.

9. "We Tapped that Ass" (season 2, episode 4)
This is like a very adult version of the "Moses Supposes" number from Singin' in the Rain. I fucking love it.

8. "Let's Have Intercourse" (season 2, episode 11)
I didn't love this song at first. It felt too soft for a song about banging in an elevator, which I'm sure was part of the intended humor. It just felt weird for a dick like Nathaniel to sing such an Ed Sheeran-esque song. Of course, the lyrics are total asshole material—I am not on board with all of the mentions of Rebecca's weight. That shit doesn't fly with me. But, I did love their chemistry and because I'm 100% Team Nathaniel, this song grew on me the more I listened to it. I get it in my head quite often. I hope I never accidentally sing it out loud in public . . . .

7. "Love's Not a Game" (season 4, episode 16)
An amazing White Josh-led Guys and Dolls number. I love that everyone is taking bets on who Rebecca will end up with—and also when Josh will die. Ha!

6. "Gettin' Bi" (season 1, episode 14)
Darryl realizes he is "bothsexual" and announces it to his employees in the most Darryl way ever—a Huey Lewis style number. Fucking glorious.

5. "The Cringe" (season 4, episode 2)
I love, love, love the gals' skeleton dresses in this video!!!! And I love the fact that it takes place on Halloween in a graveyard and has a bit of a "Monster Mash" feel to it. And it marks the return of Patton Oswalt as the weird ass graveyard security guard, J. Castleman.

4. "Let's Generalize About Men" (season 3, episode 1)
I want their outfits sooooo bad. I love this early 80s girl group man-bashing number. The last line always kills me.

3. "I Could If I Wanted To" (season 1, episode 16)
Oh, OG Greg. This is such an amazing alt-rock song. I would listen to it even if it weren't from this show.

2. Fit Hot Guys Have Problems Too" (season 3, episode 9)
I will never, ever complain about seeing Nathaniel strip most of his clothes off and ugly cry while go-go dancing. And the Joshes too, for that matter. This song also gets stuck in my head a lot. 

1. "Santa Ana Winds" (season 2, episode 11)
And now we come to my most favorite of favorites. I adore the Frankie Valli style singing from former Jersey Boys actor, Eric Michael Roy. As this Observer article says, "The Santa Ana Winds Guy From 'Crazy-Ex Girlfriend' Can Get It." Yes, yes he can. That suit. Oh my. The lyrics are funny and catchy. At the end, there's a reprise of Rebecca's "You Stupid Bitch" song from season 1. But my favorite thing is that this song ushers in the Rebecca/Nathaniel chemistry. I cannot get enough of this episode or this song—truly my favorites!

***********************************************************************************
I originally posted this on June 11, 2020, but after some further consideration (and an almost complete re-watch of the series), I decided to make some changes. "Fit Hot Guys Have Problems Too" was moved from #4 to #2 because I simply could not get it out of my head. "What a Rush to Be a Bride" was previously at #25, but I removed it to include "Where's Rebecca Bunch?". "I'm Not Sad You're Sad" was at #24, but "Without Love You Can Save the World" took its place. And, "Man Nap" at #22 made way for "Strip Away My Conscience".

Tuesday, April 28, 2020

Iconic TV Murder Settings: A Case Study

Musique: "Murder, She Wrote Theme (with lyrics)" by Mediocre
As I've said before, I have a love for lady detectives. My two absolute favorites are Jessica Fletcher from Murder, She Wrote and Phryne Fisher from Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries (technically from the series of Phryne Fisher books by Kerry Greenwood that inspired the TV series and that I also love). I grew up watching Murder, She Wrote, so when I started watching Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries back in 2013, I noticed that Phryne investigated a lot of murders in settings very similar to the ones Jessica investigated murders in. I wonder if murders are just more apt to happen around places like boxing rings or planetariums or convents . . .

Big ass boat
MSW: "My Johnny Lies Over the Ocean," in which Jessica travels with one of her many, many nieces on a cruise ship and you guessed it—solves a murder. This episode also includes one of my favorite things that ever happened on an episode of Murder, She Wrote:
MF: "Unnatural Habits," in which Phryne has to climb up this big ass boat to see if it's really carrying sugar (it is actually sugar, but it is also carrying—spoiler alert—something else).


Boxing ring
MSW: "Death Takes a Dive," in which Jessica works together with her old pal, Harry McGraw (Jerry Orbach) and LeVar fucking Burton.
MF: "Deadweight," in which shit goes down in a shady boxing tent and clearly, Constable Hugh Collins must intervene and fight in a boxing match.

Circus
MSW: "Death Stalks the Big Top," a two-parter in which there are many suspects, including one of the My Two Dads.
MF: "Blood and Circuses," in which Phryne goes undercover as a circus performer and as in most episodes, almost gets murdered herself.

Convent
MSW: "Old Habits Die Hard," in which this nun clearly did not commit suicide—she was murdered!
MF: "Unnatural Habits," in which not only did Phryne climb up that big ass boat, but she also snuck into a convent in a basket of her own dirty laundry to investigate the conditions of the "fallen" girls the nuns use to run their laundry. Spoiler alert—the conditions ain't good!

Fashion show
MSW: "A Fashionable Way to Die," which aired in 1987, so you know the fashion in it is AWESOME.
MF: "Murder à la Mode," in which clearly, both Phryne and Dot have to be in the fashion show at the end of the episode.

Movie set
MSW: "Hooray for Homicide," in which some hack director takes the book that made Jessica famous, The Corpse Danced at Midnight, and tries to turn it into a cheesy horror flick. Needless to say, Jess is not amused.
MF: "Framed for Murder," in which the director is killed, so of course, Phryne has to step in and be director—she also gets to sleep with a hot extra because Phryne gonna Phryne.

Planetarium
MSW: "Harbinger of Death," in which yet another of Jessica's nephews is accused of murder. The planetarium proves truly useful in solving the case.
MF: "Death Do Us Part," filled with mysterious deaths, a flirtatious Ottoman prince, a wedding, a Phryne/Jack kiss—and obviously, a planetarium, duh.

Pool
MSW: "The Murder of Sherlock Holmes," which was the pilot episode! This episode also introduces us to Jessica's favorite nephew, Grady, who is the one that sends Jess' book (the aforementioned The Corpse Danced at Midnight) to a publisher, who in turn falls for Jessica and invites her to his country house for a costume party, where someone in a Sherlock Holmes costume is found dead in the pool. Let's start this series off with a bang!
MF: "Murder in the Dark," in which there is also a costume party. Wtf—maybe you should never throw a costume party if you have a pool . . . However, the pool murder in this one occurs before the party. This episode is truly, truly creepy with the guy who killed Miss Fisher's kid sister pulling some serious serial killer shit. Epic!

Tennis court
MSW: "Menace, Anyone?" starring a young Walter White and a young Sarah Connor. Someone blows up—but sadly not on the tennis court.
MF: "Game, Set, & Murder," in which some fucker puts a deathly poisonous spider in a tennis player's shoe. Who the fuck is that evil?? We also learn that the only thing Phryne is scared of is spiders. She even has to trap one in her bedroom with her diaphragm. Glorious!

Theatre
MSW: "Sing a Song of Murder," in which Angela Lansbury plays a double role—writer Jessica Fletcher and her cousin, actress Emma Macgill (Macgill is Jessica's maiden name). You get to see Emma performing in a play, singing "Good-bye Little Yellow Bird," a song Angela Lansbury sang in the film, The Picture of Dorian Gray. Which, incidentally, is the film where Angela and its star, Hurd Hatfield became lifelong friends and he ended up appearing in three different Murder, She Wrote episodes! Also, Angela's own mother, Moyna appeared in the film as the Duchess—and Moyna's last name is Macgill, just like Jessica and Emma. Mind blown.
MF: "Ruddy Gore," in which we meet the delectable Lin Chung for the first time. There are ghosts and opium and of course, a Gilbert and Sullivan production.

University
MSW: "Lovers and Other Killers," set in motherfucking Seattle!! Represent! Also filmed there, including my favorite neighborhood, Pioneer Square. The university in question is never explicitly called University of Washington, but I'm just going to say that it is.
MF: "The Blood of Juana the Mad," in which Jack is ignoring Phryne because she's just too damn sexy, but they are brought together to solve a murder at a university—on a motorcycle.

Vineyard
MSW: "A Very Good Year for Murder," in which Jessica wears this jaunty wine cowgirl look. And of course, because it concerns Italians, this episode also concerns the mafia!
MF: "Death on the Vine," in which Phryne smashes grapes with her feet—and possibly her bare ass because she kissed one of the vintners while they were in the vat and I'm guessing they totally got down in there too.

I highly recommend you binge watch both series immediately. Yes, Murder, She Wrote has 12 seasons and some additional TV movies, but what the hell else are you doing during quarantine? I personally own both entire series on DVD because I'm old-school like that, but I do believe Murder, She Wrote is available through multiple streaming services (I could be wrong) and Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries is available through Acorn TV and multiple others.

Wednesday, March 18, 2020

Books to Binge

Musique - "Reading Rainbow Theme" by Tina Fabrique
Last time, I gave some suggestions for my favorite movies and shows to binge during our isolation. Now it's time for my book suggestions:

Novels:
Ahab's Wife: or, The Star Gazer by Sena Jeter Naslund
I read this on the recommendation of someone I used to be in a book club with many years ago (I actually dislike book clubs intensely, so I'm not planning on joining any in the future). I didn't think I'd like it because it's about the wife of Captain Ahab from Moby Dick. I've never even read Moby Dick. But DAMN was this a good book. Sena Jeter Naslund has a way with words. I couldn't put it down. I immediately went out and got another of her books, Abundance: A Novel of Marie Antoinette, which I also loved. Highly recommended!

Amends by Adriane M. Ziemer
You're goddamn right I'm plugging my own book. In these uncertain times, even the small royalties from purchases of my books are welcome. ;) This is a short novel I wrote for NaNoWriMo in 2012 and self-published in 2015. I wrote it as if it were a 1930s film—cheeky and stylish, but not brimming with substance. I still love reading it, but then again, I wrote it for myself. However, you might also enjoy it, so here you go. It's about seven strangers invited to a house party and shit goes sideways. There may or may not be ghosts and witches involved. (You can also check out my collection of short stories and novelettes called Tales of Magnificence, Moxie, and Magic if you are so inclined.)

The Enchanted April by Elizabeth von Arnim
I have distinct memories of reading this book on my solo trip to Leavenworth, WA in the springtime years ago. It was sunny and I was sitting on a bench next to the gazebo, sipping on a chocolate coconut Frappucino and listening to the delightful German music in the background. All of this has nothing to do with the book other than to say it is a wonderful read in the spring. It's about four strangers in the 1920s who come to Italy to escape dreary England and stay in a medieval castle. Love it!! The 1991 film version is also delightful.

The Other Typist by Suzanne Rindell
Yes, another book set in the 1920s—of course! This one is about typist Rose Baker, working for the NYPD. New typist, Odalie, comes along and rocks Rose's world. I found it riveting and the surprise ending still has me stunned. I read awhile back that they were going to make it into a movie with Keira Knightley as Odalie, and I must say that she is exactly who I pictured when I read this book. I hope it does happen one day!!

The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafón
My favorite book ever—well, probably tied with Alice's Adventures in Wonderland for "all time", but still a favorite. I bought this book solely based on the cover and this is one of those rare times when you can judge a book by its cover because this book is fucking amazing. It takes place in Barcelona in the 1950s and centers around Daniel Sempere, the son of a bookstore owner. Daniel's father takes him to a magical place known as the Cemetery of Forgotten Books, where he chooses a book written by a mysterious author named Julián Carax. Daniel becomes obsessed with learning more about Julián and epic stories ensue. The writing is so, so beautiful. Carlos Ruiz Zafón wrote this book in Spanish and it was translated into English by Lucia Graves. If the English version of this book is this fucking gorgeous, I can only imagine how exquisite it is in Spanish. Sigh. This is actually the first in a series of books about the Cemetery of Forgotten Books, and while the others are good, this is the only one that I truly fell in love with.


Authors You Should Read Everything By:
Damn, she had a way with words. She made would-be boring life and interpersonal relationships in the 1800s enticing. These days I can now imagine a life where you sit at home all day and pretty much never see your neighbors and the big excitement is going for a walk or getting a letter, but before all this COVID-19 shit came down, I couldn't fathom how these people back then could live like that. These novels give you a glimpse into simpler times that are actually just as emotionally complex as our own time (although her characters don't need to socially distance themselves like we do). My personal favorites are Northanger Abbey and Pride and Prejudice.

The master of murder and mystery! Author of like 80 something novels! These are usually easy, quick, charming reads. I love both Hercule Poirot and Miss Marple equally, but Murder on the Orient Express is my all-time favorite.

My favorite author of all time. This man is the king of descriptions—what a beautiful, evocative way with words! His novels usually get all the attention (especially The Great Gatsby), but I'm more of a fan of his short stories. My favorite collection of his is Flappers and Philosophers.

I was on the lookout for eerie, supernatural-ish kind of books awhile back and someone recommended Susanna Kearsley to me. I read The Shadowy Horses and fell in love! Her novels all center around a female protagonist who encounters or has connections to some sort of supernatural element, like ghosts, time travel, precognition, etc. I've really enjoyed every single book of hers that I've read.

I read The House at Riverton for that book club I mentioned earlier and enjoyed it immensely. I've read most of Kate Morton's other books and loved them as well. They're all fairly similar in form—a female lead character, the narrative jumps from the past to the present back and forth. Because of this similarity, I don't recommend reading too many of these back to back—it might get irritating. And another heads up—my own novel involves flashbacks every other chapter (but I wrote mine before I ever read any of hers!).


Book Series:
All Souls Trilogy by Deborah Harkness
These are truly fantastic reading. Witches, vampires, and daemons mixed with history, alchemy, and modern science. The research Deborah Harkness must have done to write these books blows my mind. Highly, highly recommended. I've read these at least three times each, I love them so.

Bridget Jones books by Helen Fielding
Full disclosure, I have only read the first two, but I love them so much I had to include them. I identify with so much of Bridget Jones's innermost thoughts and feelings and I feel embarrassed and excited for her as if this were all happening to me. I'm older and wiser now than I was when I first read these, but at the time, I totally identified with Bridget, including all the toxic diet culture bullshit she goes through. They are totally worth a read, even if you too are old and wise. ;)

Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling
I fucking love these books. That is all.

Millenium Trilogy by Stieg Larsson
These are some fucked up books here. Serious fucked up shit happens in Sweden, apparently. I remember how much reading these books made me want to smoke and eat Billy's Pan Pizza (whatever the fuck that is—we don't have that brand in the States). I also remember finishing The Girl Who Played with Fire and being so impatient to start on The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest that instead of waiting to hit up the bookstore the next day when it opened, I placed an Amazon Fresh order that consisted solely of that book and six cupcakes from Cupcake Royale. Why the fuck not? Incredibly engrossing—and as aforementioned, fucked up—reads.

Phryne Fisher mysteries by Kerry Greenwood
Kerry Greenwood writes other books with other heroines, but the Phryne Fisher series is the best! Phryne is a lady detective in 1920s Melbourne who sleeps with hot guys, carries a handgun in her purse, and dresses like a fashion model. I picked up Away with the Fairies at the library back in 2008 based solely on the cover (apparently I like to do that), and became obsessed with Phryne Fisher. I went back to the beginning and read all the books in order (although you don't technically need to). I was ecstatic when they made a TV series based on these books—and now there's a movie too!


Books about Show Business:
Complicated Women by Mick Lasalle
Pre-code films are my favorite. FAVORITE. If you're not familiar with the Motion Picture Production Code, it's basically a set of guidelines put in place in 1930 to make films meet moral standards. These guidelines were voluntary until 1934. If your film didn't meet the code from 1934 through the late 1950s, it wouldn't be shown in the vast majority of theaters. So "pre-code" films are ones made before the Production Code became the law of the land. This book focuses on some of the most famous pre-code actresses (and my personal favorites), such as Norma Shearer, Greta Garbo, Joan Crawford, Anna May Wong, Clara Bow, Mae Clarke, Jean Harlow, Barbara Stanwyck, and Miriam Hopkins. Old Hollywood at its best!

First of all, if you haven't read Gentlemen Prefer Blondes and But Gentlemen Marry Brunettes, do so right away. Some of this book is written from the perspective of the heroine of those two novels, Lorelei Lee. The rest is other writings by Anita Loos, many about her time in Hollywood, writing movies. It is a fascinating glimpse into her magical life during that magical time.

Lulu in Hollywood by Louise Brooks
A short memoir of sorts by talented film star and dancer, Louise Brooks. She had a complicated relationship with Hollywood and films in general, and this book is packed with her personal stories and plenty of pictures—many of which I'd never seen before! This is truly a gem.

Sin in Soft Focus by Mark A. Vieira
Why yes, this is another book about pre-code Hollywood. Weird. This is a big coffee table type book with lots of gorgeous pictures, but it also has a lot of great information about the Code and how these films tried to get around it. It is probably the most gorgeous book I own.

Yes Please by Amy Poehler
Hey look, a book about modern show business! I do like modern stuff too! I adore Amy Poehler and this memoir made me laugh so hard. I love the way she writes. I love that each piece is its own little thing. And I love the humorous photos of Amy sprinkled throughout. It's fucking fantastic!