amz's Holiday Etsy Shop Picks

 Musique - "All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

It's almost the gift-giving season and as commercial as the holidays may have become, I personally really enjoy giving gifts—not because it's expected of me, but because I honestly enjoy picking out presents for people. With COVID-19 still raging, it's probably best to shop online instead of in-person, but it's also very important to shop small and support local businesses when you can. So, instead of Amazon, consider shopping from any of these fine Etsy shops. I put certain notations next to each shop that may be helpful in choosing the shops you wish to purchase from:

* = BIPOC-owned

+ = womxn-owned

~ = local to Washington state

Etsy Shops I've Personally Purchased From:

Indulgence Spa and Body Products*+

The owner, Stephanie Willhoughby, is one of the nicest, most responsive Etsy sellers I've ever interacted with. She answers all of your questions quickly and is super sweet. I bought my sister some Whipped Shower Icing for her birthday and she liked it so much she went back and purchased some of the travel sized versions to test out different fragrances, of which there are like a billion. Susan told me that Stephanie's Peppermint Twist is a dead ringer for Bath & Body Works' Twisted Peppermint. TAKE MY MONEY!!!!!! Indulgence Spa and Body's products are paraben- and phthalate-free, vegan, and cruelty-free. Stephanie's getting a LOT of orders these days, so there is a 2–3 week window for getting your order, which just means order early! It's worth the wait. You can also find Indulgence Spa and Body Products on Instagram.

Nick Alan Art*~

Nick Alan Foote is a Tlingit artist living in Seattle, and he makes the most gorgeous cards and stickers I've ever seen. I ordered multiple sets of the cards pictured above at the start of quarantine to send love notes to my friends (and support the USPS by buying stamps) and I loooooved them!! He's also got a face mask and some wall art in his shop as well. Nick also has his own website, Instagram, and Facebook.

Craftily Creative+

This shop is owned by the actress Kimberly J. Brown, as in Marnie from Halloweentown herself!!!! I'm a big fan of the Halloweentown-themed items in her shop and have had the Being Normal Is Vastly Overrated t-shirt for years and still love it so much!! The shop has its own Facebook page and Kimberly herself is on Instagram, where you can see adorable pictures of her and her boyfriend, Daniel, who played Kal in Halloweentown II, which is the most darling thing my Halloweentown-loving heart can possibly think of.

Zella Moon Apothecary+

Shop-owner Jillian identifies as a swamp witch and makes her items out of her home in the Louisiana Bayou. She sells a lot of cute spell kits as well as other witchy ingredients, but I found her shop when I was looking for a dupe of Aveda's discontinued Blue Oil, which is good for headaches. Zella Moon Apothecary's version also includes Blue Chamomile and Peppermint, like the Aveda version did. Jillian puts Lapis Lazuli crystals in the roller ball version to help with correcting Third Eye Chakra imbalances, which can help lower stress, further helping eliminate headaches. I think it's been incredibly helpful so far for me personally. Jillian also included a sample of protective black salt and a handwritten note with my order, which I just love! Her shop has an Instagram with gorgeous photos of her ingredients.

Honey Butter Bath Co.+

I'm a sucker for gingerbread-scented lotion during the holidays and this Gingerbread Body Butter from Honey Butter Bath Co. is AMAZING. Shop-owner Allison makes sure her products responsibly sourced and cruelty-free, using organic ingredients when she can. The shop is taking longer to ship orders due to volume and COVID-related delays, so be sure to order early. If you order NOW, you could get your yummy scented body products by Thanksgiving! Allison also has a Shopify site, where she is offering 10% off body butters with the code AVOHONEY. You can also visit the Honey Butter Bath Co. on Instagram and Facebook.

Immortal Perfumes+~

This shop used to be called Sweet Tea Apothecary back in 2015 when I purchased a bottle of Dead Writers Perfume and the shop owner, J.T., was kind enough to meet me at a coffee shop on Capitol Hill instead of shipping my order to me. Immortal Perfumes is most widely known for Dead Writers, a delightful blend of heliotrope, vetiver, clove, vanilla, tobacco, and black tea. I am also partial to Madame Moustache, which smells of tobacco, Egyptian musk, fire, and vanilla. All of the different perfumes are inspired by and named for people and fictional characters with the most interesting stories. J.T. even has a fascinating history podcast called Storical. You can buy her perfumes through Etsy or her website. Be sure to check out her Instagram and Facebook as well. On a personal note, J.T. will be having surgery in December and closing her shop up for the month, so you'll need to order by midnight, December 1.

Lists of Other Etsy Shops:

• Black-owned Etsy shops
• Indigenous-owned Etsy shops
• Asian-owned Etsy shops
• Asian American-owned Etsy shops
• Latinx-owned Etsy shops
• Seattle area Etsy shops
• Washington state Etsy shops

Happy Holidays!!!!!

Top 25 Crazy-Ex Girlfriend Songs

Musique - "I'm Just a Girl in Love" by Rachel Bloom

I remember seeing ads for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend on CW while watching Supernatural, but the title of the show was such a turn-off. Feminist me was sure it was a negative portrayal of women. Little did I know that it was actually quite feminist and showed mental health in ways I hadn't seen on TV before. It also had the cutest same-sex couple EVER—Darryl and White Josh. Oh Lord, do I heart White Josh. And Heather. She is amazing. She is perfection. Those two are my favorites. They have the best lines of the whole entire show.

My love of musicals (especially ones involving giant pretzels) finally got me to watch the show recently. It was hard for me to root for the main character, Rebecca, at first. I thought she was human garbage and I wondered how her friends put up with her and how these guys fell for her. She was so selfish and self-centered and wasn't there for them the way they were for her. So when evil boss Nathaniel showed up, I thought they were perfect for each other—two total dicks. I always have been and always will be Team Nathaniel. Of course, they both evolved and Rebecca grew on me. But for most of the series, I was mostly watching the show for the secondary characters and the musical numbers. I disagree with many of the existing lists ranking the best CXG songs, so I made my own top 25. And it goes a little something like this:

25. "Where's Rebecca Bunch?" (season 3, episode 1)
I love the Beauty and the Beast "Belle" feel to this number and everyone's over-the-top accents. Ensemble numbers are some of my absolute favorites.

24. "Without Love You Can Save the World" (season 3, episode 9)
I picture less Hair and more 40 Year Old Virgin. Another stellar ensemble number.

23. "Friendtopia" (season 2, episode 6)
I've already declared my love for Heather, but let me also say that I love post-Josh Valencia. And I love their friend group (which at this point didn't include Paula yet). And, of course, I love this Spice Girls-esque song.

22. "Strip Away My Conscience" (season 3, episode 2)

Well, I automatically love anything influenced by Chicago, but combine that with Nathaniel—um, yes, please!!

21. "Settle for Me" (season 1, episode 4)
Original Greg is the only Greg. No offense to Skylar Astin, but Santino Fontana is the one and only true Greg. And this send-up of classic musicals is dreamy if a bit sad because Greg should never have to settle!!

20. "West Covina" (season 1, episode 1)
Ah, the musical number with the big pretzel that they showed in all those commercials. This is the song that made me think I might like this show. It's a big, splashy number, and like I said, it involves a giant pretzel. What's not to love? It really started the series off with a bang.

19. "Sports Analogies" (season 4, episode 10)
My favorite, Nathaniel, in a Rat Pack-esque duet with Josh? Yes, please. I love when they both have a drink and a cigarette in each hand. Dreamy.

18. "Textmergency" (season 1, episode 11)
Another hilarious hair band number. I love that the drummer is Ester Dean from the Pitch Perfect movies, and how they fight over if sending a regrettable text should be a "textmergency" or "textastrophe". So great.

17. "The Sexy Getting Ready Song" (season 1, episode 1)
Another iconic song from the first episode. And it's pretty much the truth about ladies getting ready to go out. I love that Nipsey Hussle is so horrified at the extent of what women go through that he calls it "nasty ass patriarchal bullshit" and has to go "apologize to some bitches". So, so great.

16. "Horny Angry Tango" (season 3, episode 10)
Ahhhhhh!!!! The chemistry between Nathaniel and Rebecca set to a tango!!!! Dammit, that's hot!!!!!!!

15. "Having a Few People Over" (season 1, episode 10)
This is a totally random, short piece of EDM nonsense, but I love it so. Again, Darryl is glorious, and this is the party where White Josh kisses him on the cheek. Swoon!

14. "We Should Definitely Not Have Sex Right Now" (season 2, episode 1)
This one gets stuck in my head all the time. It's kinda smooth jazz with an almost Sade-ishness to it. But yeah, ear worm.

13. "My Sperm Is Healthy" (season 3, episode 8)
Another Darryl Whitefeather gem. Sorta like Meghan Trainor's "Me Too", but about spooge. "My point is in a nutshell—each time I nut, I nut well"—no better lyrics in the world!

12. "Don't Be a Lawyer" (season 4, episode 3)
Why oh why did we not get more Jim songs in this show?????  He is amazing!!!! This is some straight up post-New Edition Bobby Brown stuff here and it is GLORIOUS.

11. "Greg's Drinking Song" (season 2, episode 2)
A charming Irish drinking song about peeing your pants and having sex with bushes. I love, love, love the costumes—seriously, every single one of the already-very-attractive people in this video looks a million times hotter in these costumes.

10. "Period Sex" (season 2, episode 3)
The transition from Rebecca telling Josh life-changing news to suggesting they have period sex was fucking hilarious. I also love that this song keeps popping up throughout the series. It was super creepy when Trent sang it in episode 12 of season 3, but it was hilarious when Rebecca's mom Naomi did it in episode 10 of season 2. Oh Lord.

9. "We Tapped that Ass" (season 2, episode 4)
This is like a very adult version of the "Moses Supposes" number from Singin' in the Rain. I fucking love it.

8. "Let's Have Intercourse" (season 2, episode 11)
I didn't love this song at first. It felt too soft for a song about banging in an elevator, which I'm sure was part of the intended humor. It just felt weird for a dick like Nathaniel to sing such an Ed Sheeran-esque song. Of course, the lyrics are total asshole material—I am not on board with all of the mentions of Rebecca's weight. That shit doesn't fly with me. But, I did love their chemistry and because I'm 100% Team Nathaniel, this song grew on me the more I listened to it. I get it in my head quite often. I hope I never accidentally sing it out loud in public . . . .

7. "Love's Not a Game" (season 4, episode 16)
An amazing White Josh-led Guys and Dolls number. I love that everyone is taking bets on who Rebecca will end up with—and also when Josh will die. Ha!

6. "Gettin' Bi" (season 1, episode 14)
Darryl realizes he is "bothsexual" and announces it to his employees in the most Darryl way ever—a Huey Lewis style number. Fucking glorious.

5. "The Cringe" (season 4, episode 2)
I love, love, love the gals' skeleton dresses in this video!!!! And I love the fact that it takes place on Halloween in a graveyard and has a bit of a "Monster Mash" feel to it. And it marks the return of Patton Oswalt as the weird ass graveyard security guard, J. Castleman.

4. "Let's Generalize About Men" (season 3, episode 1)
I want their outfits sooooo bad. I love this early 80s girl group man-bashing number. The last line always kills me.

3. "I Could If I Wanted To" (season 1, episode 16)
Oh, OG Greg. This is such an amazing alt-rock song. I would listen to it even if it weren't from this show.

2. Fit Hot Guys Have Problems Too" (season 3, episode 9)

I will never, ever complain about seeing Nathaniel strip most of his clothes off and ugly cry while go-go dancing. And the Joshes too, for that matter. This song also gets stuck in my head a lot. 

1. "Santa Ana Winds" (season 2, episode 11)
And now we come to my most favorite of favorites. I adore the Frankie Valli style singing from former Jersey Boys actor, Eric Michael Roy. As this Observer article says, "The Santa Ana Winds Guy From 'Crazy-Ex Girlfriend' Can Get It." Yes, yes he can. That suit. Oh my. The lyrics are funny and catchy. At the end, there's a reprise of Rebecca's "You Stupid Bitch" song from season 1. But my favorite thing is that this song ushers in the Rebecca/Nathaniel chemistry. I cannot get enough of this episode or this song—truly my favorites!

***********************************************************************************

I originally posted this on June 11, 2020, but after some further consideration (and an almost complete re-watch of the series), I decided to make some changes. "Fit Hot Guys Have Problems Too" was moved from #4 to #2 because I simply could not get it out of my head. "What a Rush to Be a Bride" was previously at #25, but I removed it to include "Where's Rebecca Bunch?". "I'm Not Sad You're Sad" was at #24, but "Without Love You Can Save the World" took its place. And, "Man Nap" at #22 made way for "Strip Away My Conscience".

Iconic TV Murder Settings: A Case Study

Musique: "Murder, She Wrote Theme (with lyrics)" by Mediocre

As I've said before, I have a love for lady detectives. My two absolute favorites are Jessica Fletcher from Murder, She Wrote and Phryne Fisher from Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries (technically from the series of Phryne Fisher books by Kerry Greenwood that inspired the TV series and that I also love). I grew up watching Murder, She Wrote, so when I started watching Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries back in 2013, I noticed that Phryne investigated a lot of murders in settings very similar to the ones Jessica investigated murders in. I wonder if murders are just more apt to happen around places like boxing rings or planetariums or convents . . .

Big ass boat

MSW: "My Johnny Lies Over the Ocean," in which Jessica travels with one of her many, many nieces on a cruise ship and you guessed it—solves a murder. This episode also includes one of my favorite things that ever happened on an episode of Murder, She Wrote:

MF: "Unnatural Habits," in which Phryne has to climb up this big ass boat to see if it's really carrying sugar (it is actually sugar, but it is also carrying—spoiler alert—something else).


Boxing ring
MSW: "Death Takes a Dive," in which Jessica works together with her old pal, Harry McGraw (Jerry Orbach) and LeVar fucking Burton.
MF: "Deadweight," in which shit goes down in a shady boxing tent and clearly, Constable Hugh Collins must intervene and fight in a boxing match.

Circus
MSW: "Death Stalks the Big Top," a two-parter in which there are many suspects, including one of the My Two Dads.
MF: "Blood and Circuses," in which Phryne goes undercover as a circus performer and as in most episodes, almost gets murdered herself.

Convent
MSW: "Old Habits Die Hard," in which this nun clearly did not commit suicide—she was murdered!
MF: "Unnatural Habits," in which not only did Phryne climb up that big ass boat, but she also snuck into a convent in a basket of her own dirty laundry to investigate the conditions of the "fallen" girls the nuns use to run their laundry. Spoiler alert—the conditions ain't good!

Fashion show
MSW: "A Fashionable Way to Die," which aired in 1987, so you know the fashion in it is AWESOME.
MF: "Murder à la Mode," in which clearly, both Phryne and Dot have to be in the fashion show at the end of the episode.

Movie set
MSW: "Hooray for Homicide," in which some hack director takes the book that made Jessica famous, The Corpse Danced at Midnight, and tries to turn it into a cheesy horror flick. Needless to say, Jess is not amused.
MF: "Framed for Murder," in which the director is killed, so of course, Phryne has to step in and be director—she also gets to sleep with a hot extra because Phryne gonna Phryne.

Planetarium
MSW: "Harbinger of Death," in which yet another of Jessica's nephews is accused of murder. The planetarium proves truly useful in solving the case.
MF: "Death Do Us Part," filled with mysterious deaths, a flirtatious Ottoman prince, a wedding, a Phryne/Jack kiss—and obviously, a planetarium, duh.

Pool
MSW: "The Murder of Sherlock Holmes," which was the pilot episode! This episode also introduces us to Jessica's favorite nephew, Grady, who is the one that sends Jess' book (the aforementioned The Corpse Danced at Midnight) to a publisher, who in turn falls for Jessica and invites her to his country house for a costume party, where someone in a Sherlock Holmes costume is found dead in the pool. Let's start this series off with a bang!
MF: "Murder in the Dark," in which there is also a costume party. Wtf—maybe you should never throw a costume party if you have a pool . . . However, the pool murder in this one occurs before the party. This episode is truly, truly creepy with the guy who killed Miss Fisher's kid sister pulling some serious serial killer shit. Epic!

Tennis court
MSW: "Menace, Anyone?" starring a young Walter White and a young Sarah Connor. Someone blows up—but sadly not on the tennis court.
MF: "Game, Set, & Murder," in which some fucker puts a deathly poisonous spider in a tennis player's shoe. Who the fuck is that evil?? We also learn that the only thing Phryne is scared of is spiders. She even has to trap one in her bedroom with her diaphragm. Glorious!

Theatre
MSW: "Sing a Song of Murder," in which Angela Lansbury plays a double role—writer Jessica Fletcher and her cousin, actress Emma Macgill (Macgill is Jessica's maiden name). You get to see Emma performing in a play, singing "Good-bye Little Yellow Bird," a song Angela Lansbury sang in the film, The Picture of Dorian Gray. Which, incidentally, is the film where Angela and its star, Hurd Hatfield became lifelong friends and he ended up appearing in three different Murder, She Wrote episodes! Also, Angela's own mother, Moyna appeared in the film as the Duchess—and Moyna's last name is Macgill, just like Jessica and Emma. Mind blown.
MF: "Ruddy Gore," in which we meet the delectable Lin Chung for the first time. There are ghosts and opium and of course, a Gilbert and Sullivan production.

University
MSW: "Lovers and Other Killers," set in motherfucking Seattle!! Represent! Also filmed there, including my favorite neighborhood, Pioneer Square. The university in question is never explicitly called University of Washington, but I'm just going to say that it is.
MF: "The Blood of Juana the Mad," in which Jack is ignoring Phryne because she's just too damn sexy, but they are brought together to solve a murder at a university—on a motorcycle.

Vineyard
MSW: "A Very Good Year for Murder," in which Jessica wears this jaunty wine cowgirl look. And of course, because it concerns Italians, this episode also concerns the mafia!
MF: "Death on the Vine," in which Phryne smashes grapes with her feet—and possibly her bare ass because she kissed one of the vintners while they were in the vat and I'm guessing they totally got down in there too.

I highly recommend you binge watch both series immediately. Yes, Murder, She Wrote has 12 seasons and some additional TV movies, but what the hell else are you doing during quarantine? I personally own both entire series on DVD because I'm old-school like that, but I do believe Murder, She Wrote is available through multiple streaming services (I could be wrong) and Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries is available through Acorn TV and multiple others.

Books to Binge

Musique - "Reading Rainbow Theme" by Tina Fabrique

Last time, I gave some suggestions for my favorite movies and shows to binge during our isolation. Now it's time for my book suggestions:

Novels:

Ahab's Wife: or, The Star Gazer by Sena Jeter Naslund

I read this on the recommendation of someone I used to be in a book club with many years ago (I actually dislike book clubs intensely, so I'm not planning on joining any in the future). I didn't think I'd like it because it's about the wife of Captain Ahab from Moby Dick. I've never even read Moby Dick. But DAMN was this a good book. Sena Jeter Naslund has a way with words. I couldn't put it down. I immediately went out and got another of her books, Abundance: A Novel of Marie Antoinette, which I also loved. Highly recommended!

Amends by Adriane M. Ziemer

You're goddamn right I'm plugging my own book. In these uncertain times, even the small royalties from purchases of my books are welcome. ;) This is a short novel I wrote for NaNoWriMo in 2012 and self-published in 2015. I wrote it as if it were a 1930s film—cheeky and stylish, but not brimming with substance. I still love reading it, but then again, I wrote it for myself. However, you might also enjoy it, so here you go. It's about seven strangers invited to a house party and shit goes sideways. There may or may not be ghosts and witches involved. (You can also check out my collection of short stories and novelettes called Tales of Magnificence, Moxie, and Magic if you are so inclined.)

The Enchanted April by Elizabeth von Arnim

I have distinct memories of reading this book on my solo trip to Leavenworth, WA in the springtime years ago. It was sunny and I was sitting on a bench next to the gazebo, sipping on a chocolate coconut Frappucino and listening to the delightful German music in the background. All of this has nothing to do with the book other than to say it is a wonderful read in the spring. It's about four strangers in the 1920s who come to Italy to escape dreary England and stay in a medieval castle. Love it!! The 1991 film version is also delightful.

The Other Typist by Suzanne Rindell

Yes, another book set in the 1920s—of course! This one is about typist Rose Baker, working for the NYPD. New typist, Odalie, comes along and rocks Rose's world. I found it riveting and the surprise ending still has me stunned. I read awhile back that they were going to make it into a movie with Keira Knightley as Odalie, and I must say that she is exactly who I pictured when I read this book. I hope it does happen one day!!

The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafón

My favorite book ever—well, probably tied with Alice's Adventures in Wonderland for "all time", but still a favorite. I bought this book solely based on the cover and this is one of those rare times when you can judge a book by its cover because this book is fucking amazing. It takes place in Barcelona in the 1950s and centers around Daniel Sempere, the son of a bookstore owner. Daniel's father takes him to a magical place known as the Cemetery of Forgotten Books, where he chooses a book written by a mysterious author named Julián Carax. Daniel becomes obsessed with learning more about Julián and epic stories ensue. The writing is so, so beautiful. Carlos Ruiz Zafón wrote this book in Spanish and it was translated into English by Lucia Graves. If the English version of this book is this fucking gorgeous, I can only imagine how exquisite it is in Spanish. Sigh. This is actually the first in a series of books about the Cemetery of Forgotten Books, and while the others are good, this is the only one that I truly fell in love with.


Authors You Should Read Everything By:

Jane Austen

Damn, she had a way with words. She made would-be boring life and interpersonal relationships in the 1800s enticing. These days I can now imagine a life where you sit at home all day and pretty much never see your neighbors and the big excitement is going for a walk or getting a letter, but before all this COVID-19 shit came down, I couldn't fathom how these people back then could live like that. These novels give you a glimpse into simpler times that are actually just as emotionally complex as our own time (although her characters don't need to socially distance themselves like we do). My personal favorites are Northanger Abbey and Pride and Prejudice.

Agatha Christie

The master of murder and mystery! Author of like 80 something novels! These are usually easy, quick, charming reads. I love both Hercule Poirot and Miss Marple equally, but Murder on the Orient Express is my all-time favorite.

F. Scott Fitzgerald

My favorite author of all time. This man is the king of descriptions—what a beautiful, evocative way with words! His novels usually get all the attention (especially The Great Gatsby), but I'm more of a fan of his short stories. My favorite collection of his is Flappers and Philosophers.

Susanna Kearsley

I was on the lookout for eerie, supernatural-ish kind of books awhile back and someone recommended Susanna Kearsley to me. I read The Shadowy Horses and fell in love! Her novels all center around a female protagonist who encounters or has connections to some sort of supernatural element, like ghosts, time travel, precognition, etc. I've really enjoyed every single book of hers that I've read.

Kate Morton

I read The House at Riverton for that book club I mentioned earlier and enjoyed it immensely. I've read most of Kate Morton's other books and loved them as well. They're all fairly similar in form—a female lead character, the narrative jumps from the past to the present back and forth. Because of this similarity, I don't recommend reading too many of these back to back—it might get irritating. And another heads up—my own novel involves flashbacks every other chapter (but I wrote mine before I ever read any of hers!).


Book Series:

All Souls Trilogy by Deborah Harkness

These are truly fantastic reading. Witches, vampires, and daemons mixed with history, alchemy, and modern science. The research Deborah Harkness must have done to write these books blows my mind. Highly, highly recommended. I've read these at least three times each, I love them so.

Bridget Jones books by Helen Fielding

Full disclosure, I have only read the first two, but I love them so much I had to include them. I identify with so much of Bridget Jones's innermost thoughts and feelings and I feel embarrassed and excited for her as if this were all happening to me. I'm older and wiser now than I was when I first read these, but at the time, I totally identified with Bridget, including all the toxic diet culture bullshit she goes through. They are totally worth a read, even if you too are old and wise. ;)

Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

I fucking love these books. That is all.

Millenium Trilogy by Stieg Larsson

These are some fucked up books here. Serious fucked up shit happens in Sweden, apparently. I remember how much reading these books made me want to smoke and eat Billy's Pan Pizza (whatever the fuck that is—we don't have that brand in the States). I also remember finishing The Girl Who Played with Fire and being so impatient to start on The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest that instead of waiting to hit up the bookstore the next day when it opened, I placed an Amazon Fresh order that consisted solely of that book and six cupcakes from Cupcake Royale. Why the fuck not? Incredibly engrossing—and as aforementioned, fucked up—reads.

Phryne Fisher mysteries by Kerry Greenwood

Kerry Greenwood writes other books with other heroines, but the Phryne Fisher series is the best! Phryne is a lady detective in 1920s Melbourne who sleeps with hot guys, carries a handgun in her purse, and dresses like a fashion model. I picked up Away with the Fairies at the library back in 2008 based solely on the cover (apparently I like to do that), and became obsessed with Phryne Fisher. I went back to the beginning and read all the books in order (although you don't technically need to). I was ecstatic when they made a TV series based on these books—and now there's a movie too!


Books about Show Business:

Complicated Women by Mick Lasalle

Pre-code films are my favorite. FAVORITE. If you're not familiar with the Motion Picture Production Code, it's basically a set of guidelines put in place in 1930 to make films meet moral standards. These guidelines were voluntary until 1934. If your film didn't meet the code from 1934 through the late 1950s, it wouldn't be shown in the vast majority of theaters. So "pre-code" films are ones made before the Production Code became the law of the land. This book focuses on some of the most famous pre-code actresses (and my personal favorites), such as Norma Shearer, Greta Garbo, Joan Crawford, Anna May Wong, Clara Bow, Mae Clarke, Jean Harlow, Barbara Stanwyck, and Miriam Hopkins. Old Hollywood at its best!

Fate Keeps on Happening: Adventures of Lorelei Lee and Other Writings by Anita Loos

First of all, if you haven't read Gentlemen Prefer Blondes and But Gentlemen Marry Brunettes, do so right away. Some of this book is written from the perspective of the heroine of those two novels, Lorelei Lee. The rest is other writings by Anita Loos, many about her time in Hollywood, writing movies. It is a fascinating glimpse into her magical life during that magical time.

Lulu in Hollywood by Louise Brooks

A short memoir of sorts by talented film star and dancer, Louise Brooks. She had a complicated relationship with Hollywood and films in general, and this book is packed with her personal stories and plenty of pictures—many of which I'd never seen before! This is truly a gem.

Sin in Soft Focus by Mark A. Vieira

Why yes, this is another book about pre-code Hollywood. Weird. This is a big coffee table type book with lots of gorgeous pictures, but it also has a lot of great information about the Code and how these films tried to get around it. It is probably the most gorgeous book I own.

Yes Please by Amy Poehler

Hey look, a book about modern show business! I do like modern stuff too! I adore Amy Poehler and this memoir made me laugh so hard. I love the way she writes. I love that each piece is its own little thing. And I love the humorous photos of Amy sprinkled throughout. It's fucking fantastic!

Movies and Shows to Stay Home and Binge

Musique - "Corona" by Minutemen

You're being responsible and doing the right thing by staying home and out of the COVID-19 madness. You have all the time in the world to binge amazing movies and TV shows—but which ones do you choose?? Here are my personal suggestions for you, based on my truly random tastes—five suggestions for each genre:

1930s Films

Baby Face (1933)

Barbara Stanwyck comes up in the world by using her considerable sex appeal. This is a stunning pre-code movie that could absolutely not have been made in 1934.

Footlight Parade (1933)

I tried to pick only one Busby Berkeley movie for this list, but I couldn't very well pick only one 1933 film. It is the best year for cinema, after all. This is my favorite Busby Berkeley movie—it has all my favorite Berkeley staples: Ruby Keeler, Dick Powell, and Joan Blondell. But it also has a tap dancing James Cagney, so how can you beat that??

Libeled Lady (1936)

One of the most amazing casts of all time, Myrna Loy, William Powell, Jean Harlow, and Spencer Tracy. A prime example of a 1930s screwball comedy.

The Divorcee (1930)

Another very pre-code movie. This one's about a cheated-on wife getting back at her husband and their subsequent split. I loves me some Norma Shearer and Robert Montgomery (you should probably also see Private Lives). The Divorcee has one of my favorite lines ever, "I've balanced our accounts," which is exactly what you should say to your cheating husband after you have revenge sex with his best friend. ;)

The Thin Man (1934)

Another Myrna Loy and William Powell film. I had to. It's a classic. Who doesn't want to be Nick and Nora Charles??

1980s Films

Back to the Beach (1987)

This is one of my favorite movies of all times. It's meant to be cheesy, and it is hilarious. Annette Funicello, Frankie Avalon, Aunt Becky, the "I want my two dollars!" kid from Better off Dead, and a million amazing cameos, including Fishbone and Pee-Wee Herman. You absolutely have to watch this movie.

Clue (1985):

I was obsessed with this movie when I was little. I wanted to be Miss Scarlet so bad. This is an amazing cast, I love the alternate endings, and I still quote it on the regular. Who doesn't love a good whodunit?

Ghostbusters (1984)

The single greatest movie ever made.

Heathers (1989)

I had like a whole Christian Slater wall in my room when I was younger. He was extra super hot in this movie. And I thought Winona was the coolest. This movie is a classic.

Pee-Wee's Big Adventure (1985)

If you have not seen this movie yet, what have you done with your life? I quote the "There's no basement at the Alamo" line on my Underground tour a lot. One day I will be Jan Hooks as Tina the tour guide for Halloween. One day.

Disney Movies (Princess)

Beauty and the Beast (1991)
My sister and I were obsessed with this movie and soundtrack (and oddly enough, Wardrobe). You should absolutely re-watch it and sing along. ("And when we touched, she didn't shudder at MY PAW!")

The Little Mermaid (1989)
This was the first Disney princess movie to come out in my lifetime. I was obsessed with it and I wanted to be a mermaid so bad. Another amazing Disney soundtrack here too.

The Princess and the Frog (2009)
The last good Disney princess movie in my opinion. I adore the hand drawn stuff, none of that hideous computer animated garbage movies where everyone has giant heads and eyes. Also, this movie is set in the 1920s and has a heroine who has big ass dreams other than just marrying a hot guy (although Prince Naveen is smokin' hot).

Sleeping Beauty (1959)
This is my absolute favorite Disney movie. The animation is stunning, the songs based on the Tchaikovsky ballet are hauntingly beautiful, and Prince Phillip is really attractive. He and Aurora make a gorgeous couple. Plus Maleficent is a badass baddy.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
The original Disney princess!! The animation is gorgeous, the songs are catchy and sweet, and Snow White probably has the best outfit of ALL Disney princesses.


Disney Movies (Non-princess)

Alice in Wonderland (1951)
I have always felt a bond with Alice—she's imaginative, curious, and has a bit of a temper at times. Gosh, I heart this movie!

Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971)
This movie will make you want to be a witch who adopts three orphans, flies around on a magical bed, and falls in love with the dad from Mary Poppins. I love that Angela Lansbury's character's cat's name is Cosmic Creepers. I named the fake crow I have in my car Cosmic Creepers. (Yes, I have a fake crow in my car. I am odd and eccentric. Have I not established that yet?)

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
Okay, so it's not close to either Halloween or Christmas right now, but when is it ever not a good time to watch this movie?

Robin Hood (1973)
Clearly the best version of Robin Hood ever. Clearly.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
My sister and I were in love with this movie when it came out. We dragged our parents and grandparents to the theater multiple times to see it. A movie about 1940s Hollywood where people are friends with cartoons? Yes, please.


Documentaries

All Together Now (2008)
A behind-the-scenes look at the conception and creation of the Beatles LOVE show in Vegas. I cannot find words to accurately describe that show, I love it so much. And watching all that the Cirque performers go through to make it magical is such a treat. Plus, it's great to see that Paul, Ringo, Yoko, Olivia, and Dhani were involved in this process.

Do You Remember? Fifteen Years of the Bouncing Souls (2003)
Now it's more like thirty years of the Bouncing Souls, but back when this DVD came out, the Souls had enough history in those fifteen years to fascinate me. But that's also because they're my favorite band in the whole world. If you don't like or don't even know the Bouncing Souls, this documentary obviously won't mean the same to you as it did to me. But personally, I feel like it brought my favorite band close to me in a way many fans don't get to experience. Plus, I've met these guys IRL and they're just as awesome as they are in this documentary.

Ghosts of the Abyss (2003)
I've been obsessed with the RMS Titanic since way before that damn movie came out, okay?! I find the whole thing just fascinating. This is a great documentary, even if it was made by James Cameron. ;) (Okay, I admit—he does have a genuine love for the Titanic and okay, I do actually like that damn movie he made.)

Prohibition (2011)
The Prohibition-era is my favoritest of all time periods that ever existed. I am fascinated with everything about it and this Ken Burns documentary explores a lot of what was going on back then. It also features my personal favorite bootlegger, Seattle's Roy Olmstead.

Walt: The Man Behind the Myth (2001)
Walt Disney is one of my personal heroes. He created such magic through his own imagination and innovation—and by being able to bring together the people who could dream as big as he could and bring those dreams to life. This documentary always gets me right in the feels.


Eye Candy

The Avengers (2012)
Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston . . . yummmmmmmmmm

Design for Living (1933)
Ahhh, to be Miriam Hopkins in this movie and be with both Gary Cooper and Fredric March!

Lawless (2012)
They already won me over with a movie about bootleggers in the 1930s, but it has Tom Hardy, Gary Oldman, and Shia Labeouf? Um, yes.

RocknRolla (2008)
I don't even remember if this was a good movie or not. It doesn't matter—Idris Elba . . . Gerard Butler . . . Tom Hardy . . . It doesn't need to be good. (But honestly, I do think I enjoyed it.)

X-Men: First Class (2011)
Michael Fassbender is my #1, but James McAvoy is high up there too.


Jane Austen

Emma (1996)
I think Gwyneth Paltrow made a charming Emma, and Denys Hawthorne made Mr. Woodhouse much less irritating than he was in the book.

Mansfield Park (2007)
This is actually my least favorite of Jane Austen's novels because I don't like the character of Fanny Price very much—or her stupid cousin Edmond. But I do love Billie Piper and Hayley Atwell.

Northanger Abbey (2007)
This, on the other hand, is my favorite of Jane Austen's novels. Catherine Morland is the Austen heroine most like me, with her love of novels and wild imagination. I love this adaptation of the book—it introduced me to Felicity Jones and JJ Feild, and for that I shall be ever grateful.

Persuasion (2007)
Damn, 2007 was quite a year for Jane Austen movies. I like Sally Hawkins' portrayal of Anne Elliot best out of all the versions of Persuasion I've seen.

Pride and Prejudice (2005)
I know, I know—it's an unpopular opinion to like this version better than the 1995 miniseries with Colin Firth. Don't get me wrong, I love Colin Firth! But this movie better encompasses the feel of the book for me than the other one. Also, the actress who played Mrs. Bennet in the miniseries was insufferable. I know she's meant to be annoying, but come on!! I much prefer Brenda Blethyn's performance. I also think that Rosamund Pike makes a much better Jane. Okay, I guess except for Colin Firth, I think the entire 2005 cast is far superior to the 1995 one. ;)


Musicals

Can't Stop the Music (1980)
What? You haven't seen the musical, fictionalized version of how the Village People started starring Steve Guttenberg, Valerie Perrine, and Bruce Jenner? What? You didn't even know it existed? Well now you do—and you're welcome.

Chicago (2002)
My second favorite film of all time. I love the combination of the Kander and Ebb music from the original musical but the Rob Marshall touch (I am just not a Bob Fosse choreography kind of gal). I love the costumes, the spectacle, the cast—and all that jazz. ;)

High Society (1956)
Ohai, Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, Louis Armstrong, and Grace Kelly singing! Grace actually has a beautiful singing voice and she and Bing received a Gold Record for their duet, "True Love". This is the musical remake of The Philadelphia Story, and far superior in my opinion.

Moulin Rouge (2001)
Pure decadence and spectacle. It would be hard to find a prettier movie. Plus the songs and performances are spectacular!

Singin' in the Rain (1952)
I heart so much about this movie! The songs are amazing, the dancing is unparalleled, Gene Kelly is super fucking hot . . . I got to perform the "All I Do Is Dream of You" routine from this movie recently and it was so magical!


TV Shows (I couldn't pick just five, so here are ten)

Boardwalk Empire (2010–2014)
I can't possibly pick my absolute favorite TV show ever, but this would be a contender. Set during Prohibition, amazing cast, beautiful costumes—GAH! It's pure perfection!

Buffy, the Vampire Slayer (1997–2003)
Another contender for #1 favorite TV show. Team Angel forever!!!!!!!

Downton Abbey (2010–2015)
I got so invested in these characters, I cried at a certain character's death more than I've probably ever cried in my entire life. I'm surprised my neighbors didn't come check on me I was crying so loud.

Firefly (2002–2003)
Maybe if Earth gets all infected, we can become space cowboys like Mal. I call dibs on being Kaylee.

Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries (2012–2015)
Another show that may be my favorite ever. It's set in 1920s Australia with a badass lady detective and it's based on one of my favorite series of books, written by Kerry Greenwood. Plus, now is an excellent time to binge Miss Fisher because the film just came out!

Mr. Selfridge (2013–2016)
Do I ever watch TV shows set in the present? Pretty much no. Even though this is a highly fictionalized version of the story of Harry Selfridge, I do adore it so. Mostly for the Agnes Towler/Henri Leclair storyline. Swoon!

Murder, She Wrote (1984–1996)
This show is comfort food for my soul.

Parks and Recreation (2009–2015)
Incredible cast, incredibly bingeable.

Penny Dreadful (2014–2016)
Dark and creepy and awesome.

Veronica Mars (2004–2007)
Just hearing the opening notes of the theme song will literally make me leap with excitement. Team Logan forever!!!!!!!


And finally, I think we should ALL be watching This is the End (2013) right now because that's kinda what this feels like.