Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Fictional Character Crushes

Musique - All I Do Is Dream of You by Debbie Reynolds and chorus

I know it's ridiculous, but when I was in junior high, I totally had a crush on Raphael from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Not that I ever wanted to make out with a cartoon turtle (because that's just weird and gross), but I loved me some Raphael.  He was just so badass!  I had a TMNT comic book where he said "Damn!" in it and I thought that was just so cool.

Now that I'm older, I have decidedly more human tastes in my fictional characters.  Even though these dudes don't really exist, I have the hots for them big time!
Sirius Black
Okay, so Gary Oldman is my #1 celebrity crush ever, but he plays some pretty f'd up characters that while I think they are sexy, I wouldn't want to make out with them (I don't really dig on murderers).  Sirius Black, on the other hand, is wonderful!!  J.K. Rowling really created a complex and interesting character and I'd like to think that I would have fallen for Sirius even if I hadn't known Gary Oldman would be playing him in the movies.  I love that Sirius is flawed, but means well, and is brave and has great love for Harry.  I was privileged enough to see the Harry Potter exhibit in Seattle and when I came upon Sirius' Order of the Phoenix outfit, I did a little dance/jumped around a lot.  I wanted to jump up and hug the mannequin wearing the clothes.  And then I almost spent $45 on a replica of Sirius' wand.  But settled for a $6 magnet.  And now I get to swoon every time I open my refrigerator.

Rosencrantz
Ah, young Gary Oldman!!  I love Rosencrantz's simplicity and wonder.  He's so much happier than Tim Roth's Guildenstern.  And oh boy, do I appreciate happiness in a guy!  Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead is a fantastic movie anyway, but I could watch it over and over again and discover something crush-worthy about Rosencrantz every time.

Edmund J. Exley
Okay, so he's kind of an uptight dick.  But he's an honest cop and he wants to do the right thing.  I confess, if I'd read the book before the movie was made, I probably would not have developed a crush on Exley.  I would have probably preferred Bud White.  But there's just something about the way Guy Pearce played him in L.A. Confidential that made him so appealing (and no, it's not just because Guy Pearce is incredibly hot).

Billy Lawler/Brad/Scotty Blair
I love, love, love those beautiful Busby Berkeley musicals that Warner Bros. put out in the early 1930s.  And Dick Powell just makes the perfect romantic lead for Ruby Keeler.  His characters in 42nd Street, Gold Diggers of 1933, and Footlight Parade just make me swoon and wish for that kind of guy to exist in 2011.

Sam Harmon
Dean Martin is appealing any old time, but especially in Ocean's 11.  How could any girl resist his smooth demeanor and beautiful voice?  Even though he's a casino robber, he's still a good guy - trying to patch up Danny and Bea's marriage, looking out for his buddies, trying to help Tony not be seen by the drunk girl (although I don't think kissing Shirley MacLaine was any hardship).  He's cool as a cucumber throughout the whole movie and boy is he yummy!

Turk Malloy
Okay yes, I have a crush on Scott Caan no matter what he plays.  But Turk is something special.  He's hilarious.  And I love a guy with a sense of humor.  He's also sexy, but not conceited (which is why I'm not including Tweeder from Varsity Blues on this list - too big of an ego for me, although he is SMOKING hot).  I guess I'm cool with casino robbers since Turk makes the second on my list.  But I think it's saying something that I am not including any of the other amazingly hot men from Ocean's Eleven, Twelve, and Thirteen.

Nate Archibald
I'm not normally into such pretty boys (especially ones with such pretty hair), but Nate's different.  Maybe it's Chace Crawford's eyes that make Nate so dazzling to me - I am definitely a sucker for pretty eyes.  But I think it's also that Nate stands up to people and is trying to live his own life, not the life his family chose for him.  And, although I abhor cheating, I'm not so sure I'd fault him for cheating on Blair with Serena (because if I was a dude, I'd be hard pressed to choose between those two ladies).  And besides, that was like ages ago!

Graham Simpkins
The Holiday is one of my favorite holiday movies ever.  It's just so romantic!  And Jude Law's character is irresistibly adorable.  Even though, I will admit, a dude with kids is a HUGE turn off for me.  But his kids have cute little English accents, so I could totally be okay with that.  I think it would be fantastic to find someone you feel such a connection with so quickly - especially one who's willing to admit his feelings first.  And who cries.  Not that I'm into crybabies, but the scene where Cameron Diaz comes back to find him crying is so flipping cute.

Dr. Watson
Yes, another Jude Law character (what can I say - he is mouthwateringly delicious).  I was seriously skeptical about watching Sherlock Holmes because I am a huge fan of the actual books.  And, as we know, the books are always better than the movies.  I was especially skeptical because I don't honestly recall Sherlock Holmes ever getting shirtless and beating the shit out of some guy in any of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's stories.  However, I decided to put it in my Netflix queue and I'm honestly glad I did.  Guy Ritchie definitely took some liberties with the Sherlock Holmes characters, but that's his right as a director.  Dr. Watson is definitely doable, not only because Jude Law is hot, but because he's devoted to his fiancee Mary and also to his best friend.  And he can kick some ass (not unlike Sherlock).  PS - after reading up on the movie, I found out that the shirtless fight scene was not just an excuse to see a buff Robert Downey Jr. kick some dude's ass - this fight was referenced in the story, "The Sign of Four", where Holmes says to a man "I don't think you can have forgotten me. Don't you remember that amateur who fought three rounds with you at Alison's rooms on the night of your benefit four years back?"  So I guess it could have happened...

Don Lockwood
I think Gene Kelly is one of the dreamiest of dreamboats, so it's no wonder that I have a crush on Don from Singin' in the Rain.  But his character really is something to dream about - he's talented, he's a good friend, and he's persistent.  There's just something about his trying to find Kathy after she runs out of the party where he insulted her and she ended up accidentally shoving a cake in Lina's face.  He wants to apologize and he's smitten and it's adorable.  He's a big Hollywood star who could have anyone he wants, but he wants this little dancer from the Cocoanut Grove.  And who can resist a guy who sings and dances in the rain just because he's so in love with you?

Gabey
Hmmm, maybe Gene Kelly is his most irresistible to me when he's pursuing the object of his affections all over town...  Because that's what makes his character in On the Town so appealing to me.  He fell for Miss Turnstiles right away and he's not afraid to try and find her in a town as big as New York.  But he's not such a stalker that he won't take no for an answer.  When Vera-Ellen's Ivy (aka Miss Turnstiles) initially turns him down at the dance studio, he's disappointed, but he's not going to force her to go out with him.  But of course, Ivy is just playing hard to get because seriously, how could anyone turn this guy down?!

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